Monday, 24 June 2013

The dog did it!

So my blog/facebook followers would know that presently half the household is unwell. Both the two little ones have had a virus and are on antibiotics for ear infections and chesty coughs, so I have a fridge full of penicillin. I myself, am full of snot, completely blocked up, with the dry crusty nose which is such a great look! Miss H is complaining of a scratchy throat (but you never know with her whether she just doesn't want to miss out on the attention that everyone else is getting!). And hubby-to-be, well he just looks nervous most days at the moment, waiting to be struck down.

This morning was all class. I was running round the house cleaning, my nose coated in thick white moisturiser, hoping to God that the postman wasn't going to knock with a package. The youngest was in our bed for most of the night, so I was so tired I woke up to the sound of my own snoring, closely followed by a kick in the shins from hubby to be. The morning progressed with a whiney, clingy toddler. Lots of crying and 'up pleeeeeeese' while I tried to make breakfast and clean the house with my free arm.

I was cleaning the house when miss A began her usual routine of stripping naked and refusing to get dressed. Miss M had also decided it was dress up time, and was sporting a very summery dress. The heaters had both been turned on high this morning to counter the single digit and negative temperatures that we have been having, and the house was a toasty warm. So to avoid the fight, and to stretch out the time that he wasn't clinging to me, I let them stay half nude and went on cleaning. Miss A is at that age when she thinks she is having a conversation with you, and some words make sense and the rest is just gibber. She stopped me in the hallway, as i bustled through with an armful of washing, and was pointing into the bedroom repeating the dogs name. 'Yes!' I congratulated her on getting the dogs name right 'why don't you go knock on the window!' I said, hoping to distract her a bit longer so I could at least get a load of washing on. She looked at me strangely. So I changed my attack. 'Why don't we come into mummy's room and you can see him through the window from in there?' I asked, in my best happy child convincing voice. Miss A is fascinated by our dog and loves knocking on the windows at him and has even started reminding miss H when its time to feed him. Our dog has followed my every move through the house ever since he was made an outside dog. If I was in one bedroom, he would sleep right outside that window. Then when we started renovating and moved into the other room, he came too, etching a nice new sleeping spot into the grass outside that window. Never mind the super sized kennel that hubby-to-be built him! He prefers to be near me. 

By this stage miss A had been into the dress ups and had put her pyjama top back on but was wearing a dress as a skirt with it and was getting frustrated as she tried to pull the dress off. I helped pull the dress down momentarily before miss A started screaming 'help!' and backed herself into a corner to avoid my helping hands. I sighed and moved on to making the bed. Miss M had come to investigate. Miss M is well known for her sense of smell and has thus scored the nickname 'beagle'. She will often get out of bed during mummy and daddy's 'sneaky snack time' walk into the lounge room and say 'I can smell chocolate!' leaving her parents, tight lipped, concealing the evidence, giggling like children who had just been caught out. Miss M can also pick a full nappy from the other end of the house and is often heard to be chiming 'mu-um, [miss A] has done a poo-oo!'.

Miss M strolled into the room and stood in the window, her blonde hair glowing in the sun. She looked at me, smiled, and then promptly changed her expression to disgusted. She screwed up her nose, sniffing and said 'what is that poo smell?'. My eyes widened as I swung around and looked for miss A who was waddling out of the room with a brown stain down her chubby legs. 'No no no no no!!' I started repeating to myself in panic as I chased her out of the room trying to stop her before she went and sat on something. You never know which direction to go in these scenarios. Do you find the poo before someone steps in it, or do you clean up the toddler before it spreads further??? I chose the latter and grabbed a pack of wipes and cornered miss A in the toilet to clean her up. Miss A happily sat still while I cleaned her up. All the while still gibbering about the dog. 'Yes! We will go say hello in a minute when you are all clean!' I said, concentrating on what I was doing. 
'Ok!' I said, once I was happy with my job. 'Now, where's this poo Miss A?' I asked. She turned on her heels and ran her little naked self out of the toilet. I followed, figuring she would proudly lead me to her work. I followed her into her bedroom, and there it was, a big yellow poo. Whilst thanking God that it was at least formed, and then considering perhaps it was too formed and mentally adding more vegetables to the tonights planned dinner, I noticed miss A was saying the dogs name again. I looked out the window wondering whether he was looking in, but no dog. It was then that it occurred to me. My eyes tracked to miss A who was accusingly pointing at the poo, with her little eyebrows raised in indignation, and BLAMING THE DOG!!! The dog never-the-less was securely outside!! I have heard of farting and blaming the dog but this is just ridiculous!! I cleaned up the mess giggling, and made a mental note to start listening better to my toddler, no matter how cryptic her sentences!!!

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