Sunday, 23 June 2013

Hunting and gathering with Dad

So today Hubby-to-be was feeling a bit sorry for me with my present head cold, and decided that he would pitch in by doing the grocery shopping. I must have looked pretty crappy because to top that off he decided he would take Miss M (3 years old) with him. Now those of you ho have read my previous posts, would know that Miss M can be a bit of a challenge. She is a very busy child, quick thinking and moves a mile a minute, but never to our advantage. Until now, taking Miss M out in public was something that probably could only have been made easier with valium and a leash! Miss M lately seems to be growing up, which has put a new edge on her escapades. All her little tricks have gone from being exploratory and destructive, to more grown up and independent. Sounds great doesn't it? Not always! Unfortunately grown up and independent never coincides with us wanting her assistance. Miss M who is quite capable of dressing herself, wiping her own bottom, putting herself in her car seat, will only do these things sporadically with most times her insisting 'you do it' in a whiney I'm about to cry voice. And conversely, like her baby sister, the times you are in a hurry and need to do something for her, for speed and ease, she will refuse your help and insist on doing it the long way.

So anyway, hubby-to-be left the house this morning with a very enthusiastic Miss M in tow and I got some peace and quiet with Miss A, who is still unwell. On leaving the house Miss M said to her father 'daddy I want the windy ones' meaning that she wanted the back window of the car down. Her father obliged, given the weather was nice. On arriving at the supermarket, H2B got Miss M out of the car and was about to head into the supermarket when he realised the rear window was still open. Swearing under his breath he unlocked the car, put the keys in the ignition and wound the window back up. Calling to Miss M to follow, H2B opening his wallet and spied the bank card was not there. Again, swearing under his breath, he explained to Miss M that they would again have to get back into the car. On getting in the car Miss M made the request for 'the windy's' again, and her father again obliged. luckily we live very close to the supermarket and a quick minute later H2B had come home, explained the lack of cash situation to a confused me as he walked in the door, and left again with the wind in Miss M's hair as she wanted. Again arriving at the supermarket, in a different park, he got Miss M out of the car, locked it, and went to head inside seeing the rear window was again open. Another slightly louder curse word was said as he again, unlocked the car to wind the window up and the relocked it and went in. After about half an hour of peace and quiet for me, hubby-to-be walked back in to door at home with a smirk on his face, shaking his head. 'what?' I asked hesitantly, stretching out the word with a worried expression on my face. He giggled and started to tell the story.

Hubby-to-be had made it in the door of the supermarket unscathed and proceeded to collect the ingredients for our sunday bacon and eggs brunch. Miss M insisted on carrying the shopping basket as her little independent self kicked in. Being sick and whiney, I had put in a specific order for sourdough, rather than our usual $1 loaf of bread. H2B was busy scanning the shelves when he got a phone call. One of his mates had managed a power tool injury the night prior and was busily telling the story. This obviously is distracting to anyone, let alone an alpha male that wants to know every detail. It wasn't until a few minutes into the conversation that H2B had 'that feeling' you get when Miss M is up to something, that same feeling that every parent gets when the house is abnormally quiet. H2B looked around him expecting to find Miss M. Nothing. 'ah.. yeah mate I'd better go, I've lost me kid.' he explained in his usual calm tone. His mate, laughed and responded with a 'yeah you'd better deal with that' and promptly hung up the phone. So with his heart skipping a beat or two, H2B proceeded to put his brain in Miss M gear and made a quick trip up the end of the aisles. It wasn't far up the back aisle of the supermarket he spotted a flash of blonde hair and the back of a little girl wandering around with her basket that was almost half her size. H2B called out . '[Miss M]! What are you doing?'. Miss M didn't even pause, she just kept on her merry way, yelling back over her shoulder 'I'm trying to find the bacon!'. H2B caught up to his independent little miss and spied that she had been doing a little shopping of her own. 'what's this in here?' he asked pointing to the basket. Miss M had decided that it was a grand opportunity to get some snacks and had cleverly collected a pack of biscuits and two small containers of flavoured milk. Getting his heart rate back to normal, H2B ushered Miss M and her basket of goodies back to the fruit and veg department, all the while Miss M explaining where she had been collecting her items from. 'Right' he thought 'next on the list, tomatoes'. Miss M happily followed. H2B carefully checked a few tomatoes making sure that they were well ripened and then he heard a thump, and some items scattered along the floor. While H2B was checking his tomatoes, Miss M was doing her own checking. She had attempted to open a punnet of cherry tomatoes and had managed to drop the lot on the floor. H2B let out an exasperated sigh, looked around making sure no-one saw, and regathered the cherry tomatoes and put them back (here lies a timely reminder to always wash your fruit and veg!). Another big breath in and they moved to the deli to get the bacon. Miss M was interested, having initially been looking for the bacon, and followed while her father moved to speak to the deli attendant. While the order was being filled H2B was distracted by Miss M exclaiming 'ooohhh tickets!!' followed by the whir of the ticket dispenser as half the roll of tickets came rolling out. H2B yanked the roll end of the deli tickets out of her hand and Miss M wandered off happy with the three that she was allowed to keep. Thanking God that this was the last item to get, he ushered Miss M through the checkout with her items, made his purchases also, and headed home to tell the tale, automatically winding down the window for Miss M. He arrived at home, unpacked the couple of bags and went to head inside leaving the car window open.

So you would think that this was where the story ends. No. Miss M bowled in the door, quite smug with her win, and got stuck into her biscuits and milk while her Dad went out to the car, wound the window up and came in and started on the bacon and eggs. A bit later in the day it was shopping time. Time to do the weekly shop when no-one was hungry to avoid the spontaneous hungry purchases. Funnily enough, this mornings incidents were readily forgotten and Miss M and Miss H accompanied H2B to the supermarket. Again Miss M insisted on having her own basket and wandered round trying to collect more items. First was a punnet of strawberries which she was made to return to the shelf. She then made comment on the 'HUUUUUGEEE Watermellum' which I am sure she would have attempted to tackle into her basket if it wasn't for its size. The next was a bag of grapes, which Miss H snatched away and made her younger sister return to the shelf. Dad was on the verge of having had enough. He looked over from what he was doing to see Miss M with a cucumber in a freezer bag. '[Miss M]!' He Exclaimed 'put it back and stop touching everything!'. It was at this point that miss M let out a big wet sneeze, right into the bag in which the cucumber was in. Being in between school pick up and dinner time the supermarket was a busy place. So this time, when H2B glanced around to see who was watching, he saw at least three people had seen the germ explosion and were laughing. 'I think we had better keep that one now!' he said. They wandered another couple of aisles, while miss M kept her hands to herself. On one occasion she was seen to be wandering off to which her father issued a 'miss M come back here' order, to which she responded with 'I'm just looking at sump-ping'. Arriving at the toy aisle, H2B was feeling exhausted, and when Miss M spotted the bubbles and started claiming that she 'needed' them, he picked up Miss M and put her in the child seat of the trolley. 'this isn't my seat!' she said in a disgusted voice 'this is [miss A]'s seat!'. The remainder of the shopping was completed with Miss M secured within the trolley, occasionally commenting on items as they passed such as 'Dad! theres the pussy mouse food!!' (meaning a cat with long whiskers we are guessing!?!). They got the rest of the shopping done and even managed to secure a bag of lollies and then made the trip home. Arriving home H2B pulled into the driveway across the road attempting reverse in, to make the unpacking easier. Miss M chimed from the back seat 'We don't live here silly!!!' which was received with a giggle from both Dad and Miss H. As the car was put into reverse and they made their way into the driveway, Miss M was comforted by the more recognisable scenery and exclaimed 'THIS is where we live!'. Having had a very eventful day, H2B stopped the car smiling, glad to be home and even more glad that the rear window of the car was done up!

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