Sunday, 7 July 2013

The bedtime boomerang

I sighed as I clicked post on my Facebook post boasting about the fact I was about to sit and drink a cup of tea in peace for the first time in go only knows how long. Its funny how a warm cup of tea and peace and quiet can give you that warm fuzzy feeling. I sighed and felt my body relax.
'muuuuum' Miss M whined as she quietly tiptoed up the hallway. That relaxed feeling that so nicely had invaded my body, left with a snap. I felt my body tense and resisted the urge to scream 'WHAT?!?'
Miss M is the one in the house that DOES NOT do bedtime. In fact her latest thing she loves to say at sleep time is 'I don't go to sleep anymore'. I think the child actually believes that she doesn't sleep! So as you can imagine, before this we have already been through the 'I'm not tired', 'I need another cuddle', 'I want to read a book', 'Im still hungry', 'I want to finish my tea', 'I need a drink', 'I want a different teddy', 'I want the passage light on'... and so on and so forth.
'I need to go to the toilet again' she said quietly, looking at me through her eyebrows, knowing that she had ben pushing her luck. She had already gone to the toilet once prior to bed however given that we have had a few wet beds of late it wasn't worth calling her on it!
'Quick, off you go then' I said and went about stirring my tea trying not to look her in the eye for fear of seeing her smug expression as she sauntered off to the toilet. She made an excursion of it of course, and examined the door frame, sang a bit of a ditty, played with the toilet paper and then eventually pulled down her pants to sit down. After about five minutes she wandered in again.
'I'm thirsty' she whined.
'no more to drink!' I said. knowing that she had not long had a drink, and that I was already drowning in washing from the previous weeks wet beds.
'but I waaaaaaannnnt onnnnnnneee!' she whined.
'Nope!, of you go now' I said and looked her dead in the eye.
'awwwwwwww' she groaned and turned to walk back up the hall way.
I grabbed my tea and laptop and wandered into the lounge room.
Nowadays real peace and quiet is so rare. You cant even go to the toilet without someone trying to burst into the room, someone screaming because you have shut the door and locked it to avoid the barge ins, or someone fighting on the outside of the door leaving you yelling that good old faithful
'look out when I get out of this toilet!!'
Sometimes I even just add in a little shower and just stand under the hot water doing absolutely nothing. Generally someone flushes the toilet or turns on the water in the kitchen or just Miss A plonks her little bottom in front of the bathroom door and screams, again because there is a door stopping her from accessing you.
I spy hubby to be wandering out with a drink bottle in hand.
'What are you doing with that?' I asked accusingly.
'She said she was thirsty' he said. Looking at me quizzically.
'I just told her that she wasn't allowed to have another drink!' I said in exasperation.
He smirked at me with that ' she got me again didn't she?' expression that I see so much of.
I sipped another sip of my tea and continued chewing away on a biscuit.
It was then that I heard the toilet door shut, and Miss M speaking under her breath to Miss H.
Miss H came wandering out.
'whats going on out there?' I asked, feeling my blood start to boil.
'[miss M] needed to go to toilet' Miss H said rolling her eyes.
I rolled mine in return. We sat waiting for about 5-10 minuted listening to the faint singing.
'[Miss H]? can you go check the toilet door?' Hubby to be asked. 'I think she has locked it' he said smirking. As much as Miss M's escapades are exhausting and drive us crazy, we are always impressed by her clever mind. A devious mind, but gosh it is clever!
We listened amused, as we heard a commotion and a squeal of disgust as Miss H dragged Miss M from the toilet after finding her standing in the room talking to herself, and sent her back to bed.
Another five minutes later Miss M comes skipping out of her room again,
'gonna do another wee mum!' she proudly sang. Obviously thinking that it had worked a few times so why not try again.
'righto Mum, you're up' Hubby to be directed.
I groaned, looked at my cup of tea sadly, and got up.
'RIGHT! THAT'S ENOUGH!' I yelled. stomping up the passage with an over exaggerated walk to make my point.
'In to bed NOW!'
'but I need to weeeeeeeeeee!' Miss M cried.
'[Miss M] you're mummy is a nurse and NO-ONE does wees that much! There is none left and you are just playing tricks! Now I want you in bed by the count of three!' I held up my thumb, signalling that the count had already started, as she scuttled off to bed, admitting defeat and wailing the whole way back to bed. I sighed with a smile, sensing victory.
I walked back in to the lounge room and looked sadly at my cuppa, turned around, and went back into the kitchen to turn the kettle on. I picked up my cup, tipped the cold tea down the sink, looked at the cup.
'Ok peace and quiet, lets try this again!'

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